Marriage Resources
When the wedding-day celebrations end and the honeymoon draws to a close, all couples inevitably face the reality of life together-for better or for worse. Use these recommended sources to find out what a marriage entails from a practical point of view. Learn about your financial and legal rights as a spouse, and find online group support. This guide also provides resources for military spouses. Finally, if you are in need of some external help, you'll find directories to marriage counseling services as well.
Expand All Guide SectionsHave a Healthy Marriage
If you and your partner are considering marriage, there are some worthwhile resources to look into before you take the next step. The Web sites provided in this section illuminate some of the issues that accompany marriage and offer information that can help you feel confident in your decision. Be as educated as possible on the prospect of getting married by exploring some of these online resources.
Dulcinea's Insight
- The New York Times printed this article in 2006, which details some of the issues that are worth discussing with your companion before tying the knot.
- Many of the resources for this section of the guide are geared toward women. Don't be put off by the pink color schemes or curlicue designs on some of these sites-many have advice and information that can serve both sexes.
- Planning your wedding? In our findingDulcinea Weddings Web Guide you'll find advice on choosing the décor, inviting guests, and even making seating arrangements.
Dulcinea's Picks
For general resources ...
Smart Marriages
is a "coalition for marriage, family, and couples education." Books, articles, and marriage legislation issues are covered, along with lighthearted discussions on topics like "What is it with men and commitment?" and serious discussions on topics such as "The number one predictor of divorce." This is a balanced source for researching marriage-full of pithy articles and practical resources.
The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center
seeks to fortify communities by strengthening marriages. Look for background information and research detailing common essentials to building a healthy marriage. This site encourages the establishment of healthy marriage resources in local communities and is sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
The BBC
hosts a "Lifestyle" section that links to articles discussing reasons for marriage, fears and expectations associated with the union, and common newlywed experiences. If you are still unsure, read the "Questions to ask before marriage" article for a list of basic nuptial priorities. The "Bad reasons to marry" link is also a useful list.
The Equality in Marriage Institute
has closed, but its Web site exists as an archival collection of articles full of practical advice. Learn how your taxes, money management, and insurance policies will change once you are married.
For women specifically ...
iVillage
has many articles discussing the joys and pitfalls of marriage. You'll be able to read about marriage issues like money, intimacy, communication, and even divorce. Browse through this site to read real people's marriage stories.
Ladies' Home Journal
has an online version of its magazine with many articles that offer practical advice on getting married and sustaining a healthy nuptial relationship. Read advice in an easy-to-follow format on how to manage your finances, keep romance alive, and communicate openly, for example.
Money Management
Efficient money management is a key element to any successful marriage: one of the best ways to ensure a healthy marriage is by having an open and honest dialogue about money with your spouse. These sites can help you get your finances in order and reinforce the importance of being open and honest about your economic situation and expectations.
Dulcinea's Insight
- If you need help financing your home or paying your taxes, use some of Dulcinea's other Web Guides to find resources. The findingDulcinea Homes Web Guide can help you rent, mortgage, or buy a home and can assist you in moving. Some others to consider reading are the findingDulcinea Income Tax Web Guide, Retirement Web Guide, Family Web Guide, Parenting Web Guide, and Estate Planning Web Guide.
- If you're not married yet, don't wait until after you tie the knot to discuss your financial future with your potential spouse. Discussing and organizing your finances even before you get married can prevent lots of complications from developing.
- SmartMoney.com outlines the most essential steps of arranging a couple's financial situation in an article titled "Marrying Your Financial Lives." The discussion details elements you might not even consider—like managing disability insurance and tax cuts.
Dulcinea's Picks
For financial advice ...
Charles Schwab
teaches recently married couples or those considering marriage how to create a joint financial plan. Even if you do not intend to use Charles Schwab's financial services, you can still use this step-by-step guide to managing joint finances as a starting point for your shared financial plan.
CNNMoney.com
discusses couples' finances in a series of articles and links about male and female perspectives on money issues and how to understand your partner's viewpoint. The "Planning" section of this site helps you develop a system for managing your finances as a couple-learn to deal with debt, accumulate savings, and find out about retirement options.
The Nest
is designed for newlyweds and explores all of the new issues they face. In addition to the site's sections on money and real estate, you'll find a lot of other useful and practical information worth browsing. You have to join to access some articles, but registration is free.
The Administration for Children and Families
, a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, promotes healthy families and marriages. Use its "Marriage Calculator" to determine the financial effects of your marriage decisions, such as living apart, buying a vehicle, and the number of hours that you work.
Money Crashers
is a blog with advice on common financial issues. Whether you are a newlywed struggling with your spouse's spending habits, or you simply want to learn how to work with your spouse as a more efficient financial team, these discussions can clarify the conflicts and solutions.
Kiplinger.com
provides this archived article that offers advice on how to manage joint finances. Some text in the article is linked for more information. For example, "track cash flow" links to a page on keeping track of joint spending through the year, which can help you determine a budget.
For women specifically...
The Women's Institute for Financial Education
is dedicated to making women financially independent with sound knowledge about money. Resources include links like "Investment and Saving," "Retirement," "Budgets and Planning," "Tax Talk," and more. Visit the "Resource Center" for an online savings calculator or to submit a question to the site's panel of experts.
Who knew?
WebMD
presents a study showing that marriage ultimately brings more happiness than money. Romantics, rejoice!
Marriage Law
Marriage is a legal union as much as a romantic or spiritual one, so it's important to know how this legal union will affect you and your spouse. These issues are especially relevant when assets and children are involved, and even more so if separation or divorce becomes an issue of concern.
Dulcinea's Insight
- If you have never been married before and are unsure about what to expect from a legal point of view, use your friends and family as resources. People who have already been married can provide insight about legal issues you might not anticipate.
Dulcinea's Picks
FindLaw's Family Law Center
helps you locate any family-related law information you might need, on topics like prenuptials, child custody, divorce, and adoption.
NOLO
gives legal advice on practical home and marriage matters. Some links include "Wills and Estate Planning," "Property and Money," and "Family Law and Immigration." This site teaches you the basic legal issues behind everyday concerns.
Cornell Law School
offers this index of laws, arranged by state. The "Family Law" section includes each state's legal policies on marital and domestic relations, children, adoption, divorce, and more.
Seek Marriage Advice
Forums and blogs are valuable sources for information on what other couples are doing: read about how others keep their marriages fresh and exciting, or ask for advice if you are experiencing emotions that you are not sure how to express to your spouse directly.
Dulcinea's Insight
- If you are having consistent problems with your spouse that you cannot express, you may need to find a more serious outlet for your emotions. Visit the next section for advice on marriage counseling, or visit our findingDulcinea Therapy and Counseling Web Guide.
- The anonymity of these resources makes them safe places for self-expression, and they can help you explore common problems that other couples have experienced. But because blogs and forums are open sources, anyone can contribute to or read the discussion; don't give away sensitive or identifying information in this public venue.
- To find more blogs or forums, try a blog search engine like Technorati or BlogPulse.
Dulcinea's Picks
Families.com
brings together blogs on several topics. Visit the "Blogs" or "Marriage Categories" sections for links to all of the discussed subjects. Sample topics include religion within the family, anniversaries, and military marriages. Visit the "Date Nights" link for some romantic inspiration and tips about creating that fun "first date" feeling.
BellaOnline
is a site dedicated to women. Visit this forum to read user questions and concerns about a variety of issues. There's a thorough section on relationships on the main site; scroll down to find links to articles discussing basic elements and concerns that come up in any marriage.
TeeBeeDee
is a discussion forum on topics in everyday life, aimed at people over 40. You have to become a member to post but joining is fast and free. View discussions in the "Relationships" section or go to "Sex over 40." Need to bring up a prickly topic with your spouse? Take a look at "Real Life Scripts" for guidance on getting the conversation started.
Suite101.com
presents articles and discussions on marriage-and thousands of other topics. The articles are written by the site's regular contributors; look for author bios and their latest articles, or subscribe to a feed if you want to read more by a specific contributor.
Couples Counseling
Whether you are having marriage troubles or just want to strengthen communication skills with your spouse, you may consider a marriage counselor to help guide and mediate discussion. These online resources can help you decide whether counseling can improve your marriage and how to find the support you need.
Dulcinea's Insight
- The Mayo Clinic has a section on Mental Health that includes a discussion on the emotional strain of marital problems. Read the article "Marriage counseling: Working through relationship problems" for a basic overview of what marriage counseling entails and when to visit a counselor.
- Many health insurance providers help with the cost of marriage counseling. Be sure to check your insurance company's Web site to learn about the services covered.
Dulcinea's Picks
The National Directory of Marriage and Family Counseling
helps couples locate and evaluate marriage counselors with information on the effectiveness of counseling, cost, counseling techniques, and how to choose a counselor. Visit the "Family and Marriage Counseling Articles" section for discussions of common issues like money and parenting. Be aware that some Google ads cut into the text.
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
helps locate therapists in the United States, Canada, and abroad. Search this site for information on very specific family and marriage-related issues such as infidelity, infertility, and domestic violence.
The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
offers information and resources for phone counseling, counseling alternatives, and books about family, marriage, and relationships. Counseling services are recommended on this site along with discussions on how to make counseling effective and how to select a therapist.
Resources for Military Spouses
Military spouses are in a unique position and have a particular set of issues in sustaining a marriage and family. This section of the guide can help you find jobs and opportunities that fit the military lifestyle, and it can put you in touch with other military spouses who can identify with your specific needs and circumstances.
Dulcinea's Insight
- If you are seeking more online communities geared toward military spouses, visit social networking sites like MySpace, which allow you to set up a profile and build a group of friends.
- For many more helpful resources for military members and their families, see the findingDulcinea U.S. Military Web Guide.
Dulcinea's Picks
For general military family resources ...
The Military Spouse Resource Center
, cosponsored by the U.S. Department of Defense and the U.S. Department of Labor, provides employment, education, and relocation information for spouses in the military. You'll find resources that can help you set up your home and family in the United States and abroad.
The Military Spouse Career Center
is operated by the U.S. Department of Defense and emphasizes keeping your family stable through transitions. This site does more than provide job information: visit the "Family Support" section for advice on how to handle deployment, relocation, health issues, and finance issues.
The National Military Family Association
offers information on many essential topics for families in the military. Once you have read through the site, visit the "Links" section under "Resources" for hundreds of government-recommended resources.
For message boards ...
Military.com
provides a forum for military spouses with resources for husbands, wives, fiancés, and friends. Virtually all topics detailing family and married life include thousands of postings; sample discussions include education, finance, volunteering, and health benefits.
MilitarySpot.com
hosts an extensive family support forum for military families and friends. You'll find videos and links to other resources on the left of the featured article. There is some flashy advertising on this site, but also some great advice.
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